To start, I suppose I should explain that in order to get from my dorm to my dining hall, I can completely avoid going outside. However, instead of braving the harsh Penn State winter, I must suffer through the inane happenings, dialogues and general antics that occur in the sorority building. Suffice to say, I can't wait until it gets warm again.
At first, I didn't think it was so bad, and after a while, it was actually pretty entertaining to observe the goings on of the ladies in the building. But just a couple days ago, I heard something that nearly made me lose faith in the entire human race.
Okay, here's the story: On Monday, while I was walking to go get dinner, I got stuck in the hallway behind two sorority sisters. They were having a conversation about their respective winter breaks and this is (basically) how the conversation went, I'll try to quote as best I can:
Girl 1: (Excitedly) I was super excited to see my boyfriend over the break, even though he only came up for a couple days.
Girl 2: Oh yeah! That must have been great, what'd you guys do?
Girl 1: Oh my god, it was sooooo cute, he took me to the zoo
Girl 2: Awwww!
Girl 1: Yeah, I think my favorite animals that we saw were (get ready for this) the striped horses
...what. The what horses? Striped? You mean the ones that look like this:
THIS is a striped horse:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that the fact that zebras exist was fairly common knowledge, especially for a college student. When I heard this, I didn't know how to react. I knew it was funny, I mean come on, a striped horse? But she was just so sincere, I didn't know whether or not to laugh. Is it possible that this girl actually doesn't know what a zebra is? I almost felt bad for her... almost.
So then I got to thinking. I started thinking about every interaction I've ever had with sorority girls, and I used those interactions to try to figure out why I hold so much resentment towards this type of person and I think I've finally come up with a conclusion. It's because they perpetuate their own stereotype, seemingly on purpose. Now, I'm not saying that 100% of sorority girls are like this, but most of 'em sure are and I can't imagine why a young woman enrolled in an institution of higher learning would want to purposely degrade her own intelligence. I honestly can't believe that these girls are stupid or ignorant enough enough to make mistakes like calling zebras "striped horses". But as far as I can tell, this seems to be the case. Furthermore, I've never encountered a more judgmental group of people (and actually this goes for hardcore Frat Brothers as well). So, to summarize, Sororities are a group of young women who want to act like total morons, flaunt their sexuality in an almost vulgar manner on weekends, and judge each other and everyone else behind closed doors. And they call each other sisters?
This brings up the ultimate question: Why would any girl want to pay to join such an organization? Surely there are better ways to spend your time and more worthwhile people to be spending it with.
But somehow, these organizations continue to gain membership, and are actually quite popular. How could that possibly be?
Well, let's see if we can't break it down.
I would say that the number one reason that girls join a sorority is the number one reason why most people join any organization- to be a part of something. Simple as that. People like to feel like they are a part and that they matter and in a school the size of Penn State, it's easy to get lost, to be just another face in the crowd. For many girls, I imagine being in a sorority is one way to "make a big school small" so to speak.
Closely following at number two would be the party scene. It's much easier to get into frat parties if you are a Brother or Sister, so I would say that is also a leading cause in girls being attracted to sororities.
Coming in at number three would be the Greek involvement in Thon. This, in my opinion, is the best of these three reasons for joining a sorority. Fighting for a cause, especially one like Pediatric Cancer, is an excellent reason to join an organization. However, students can be involved with Thon without being involved in Greek life at all.
So there might be other reasons, but I think these three are the biggies.
I still don't get it.
I can't fathom why you would pay these people to pretend to be your friends while they secretly (or maybe even not so secretly) judge you based on your appearance and encourage you to demean and misrepresent your own intelligence and individuality to better fit the "sorority mold". Sororities (and fraternities for that matter) are the ultimate identity suppressor. How can you be yourself when there is an unquestionable stereotype in these groups that seems to be purposefully sustained by their own members and that they expect new recruits to uphold?
Maybe there is more to Greek life that I'm missing by not being a part of it, but at this point I feel I understand them pretty well. Suffice to say, I am not a fan.
Although I have had similar concerns over girls who dumb down their presentation in various social settings, I think that life is rarely, if ever, black and white. Wanting to be part of something, as you point out, is a compelling reason for many people, regardless of gender, to join groups. Needing a sense of community is human. Needing to be liked is also human, and what person hasn't at some point changed or concealed a quality that they thought would help or hinder their social interactions or status? Some people are more inclined to make these types of adjustments, while others largely avoid them, but a desire to be accepted by others is also very human. Being a part of Greek life provides for these needs, and it is also a relatively harmless way to try on different "stripes" and along the way, maybe pick up a style that fits you. I'm not condoning behavior that is unkind or potentially damaging to one's physical or mental well being. But, I do wonder what you might be missing about the experience by being an outsider. Maybe things are not what they seem. And, if you are turned off by the appearances of sorority (and fraternity) life, maybe it's an example why there's vanilla and chocolate. Life is not a one flavor fits all kind of experience.
ReplyDeleteFinally, two closing thoughts:
First, maybe the young lady in your example was really going to see the striped horses, like the ones in the picture. Lots of places have them, maybe even at zoos.
Second, in your first paragraph you say: "I hope that what I'm about to say does not offend you, but if it does, I can't say that I'll feel bad. Sorry." This is contradictory and false sounding. You either care about offending or you don't. If you don't care, then you're not sorry, and if you do care, then surely you would feel bad. Stating a negative view might offend, but I suggest you not pretend otherwise by making a false apology.
I am a girl and I do not see the advantages of being in a sorority and would never join one. But I agree with your reasons as to why people join them. I have a fourth reason to share with you. These girls may join sororites because the process of making friends becomes easier. Your friends are basically chosen for you and you'll be guaranteed to have friends for life. Although this may seem like girls are "buying" their friends, it may be a breathe of fresh air for Freshman girls to know that they do not have to stress out about making friends; they will be provided for them. In addittion, many sororities and frats accept people who have similiar characteristics and personalities as the rest of the house. Therefore, one is guaranteed to easily have friends that he/she will get along with.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading both your blog and the first comment on this page I can honestly say that this blog is more biased than anything else. Yes, some girls will dumb down to make people laugh or act the way they think they are supposed to for other people. However, this can happen with many girls, not just ones in sororities. I know many girls that are considered "dumb" that have absolutely no interest in sororities. I believe you are actually promoting the stereotypes you are talking about by saying that they act this way due to the sorority they are in. I like how at the end you bring up the positive points of a sorority, but in the end it almost does not matter that you did because you just go back and say that even though you know the reasons people join them, you still do not understand. Overall, I believe this is a very biased rant about sorority girls that is not even relevant because many girls actually act like this.
ReplyDeleteI feel as if you should do a little more research about sororites before coming up with such conclusions. To even qualify for sorities you must be in good standing in your school and be active in your community, so in what way does it degrade there own inteligence? If you were to go to any sorirites website and do research on them you will find a long list of community service for all different types of charities and organziations and you will find thats many of the most succesful people in our country are members and honorary members of fraternities and sororites. Our first lady is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Soririty Inc. Almost every single one of our presidents where fraternity men. So if you think that Greek life is degrading to ones intelligence and only a way to "be a part of something" how did these people get to be where they are today. Its more than just being a part of soemthing, its a long line of brotherhood and sisterhood. Greeks dont just party and where there greek letters all of the time. Outside of college greeks are raising money to cure diseases, donating money to group homes and the needy and doing things for a serious cause. So hopefully you will do some research and maybe post a new blog correcting yourself on your misjudgement about greek life.
ReplyDeleteWhile I went through recruitment at my previous college, I ultimately came to the conclusion by the end of the process that it simply wasn't for me. While I have friends that are both affiliated and non-affiliated, I do see why many people have such ill-feelings towards the Greek system. I suppose, although I could go on for days on the matter, that I have 2 points to make.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I think that while there are certainly an abundant number of people involved in Greek life that may meet the description you've provided, there are also an abundant number that do not. It's similar to saying that all Republicans are war-mongering, money-grubbers or all Football players should be glad they're athletically inclined or they'd be in community college. It's easier to pinpoint the less favorable links in the organization than it is to see the positive aspects.
Second, I strongly feel that Greek life's apparent "holier than thou" attitude can often be attributed to the emphasis the college puts on them. I once read that the closer the Greek courts are to the admissions office is a clear sign of how much sway they have in the institute. Greek life has very much become its own influential culture... and with that comes good and bad.
Thanks for the feedback. I posted again with some edits, clarification and a nicer tone. Read if you're interested, and especially if you posted a negative response, maybe my new post is a little more clear.
ReplyDelete